Hi, I am Faith, a stage 2 breast cancer warrior and survivor. I’m 36 years old this year and mother of two lovely girls, 5 and 1.
In June 2021, I discovered that I was pregnant with my second child. This pleasant surprise filled both my husband and my hearts in excitement. Amidst the anticipation, however, was that I realised that my right breast was lumpy even after having stopped breastfeeding the same year. Even though there was no pain or any abnormality, for a peace of mind, we decided to request for a check-up since we were already going to see a doctor for the pregnancy. The check-up unveiled a stark reality: I received the devastating news of being diagnosed with HER2 positive stage 2 breast cancer.
“Why me?”
“What is going to happen to my baby?”
“What am I going to do?”
“How will my elder girl take it? Is she gonna lose her mummy at such a young age?”
“Will I be okay?”
A lot went through my mind upon receiving the news. There was so much uncertainty. I broke down and was inconsolable. It took me a long while to regain my composure in order to listen to the possible treatment plans offered to me and the potential risk it might have to my unborn child. The recommended treatment was for me to undergo mastectomy first. However, surgery was out of the question as the duration I would be under general anaesthesia might put my baby in danger.
As the two tumours were huge and the cancer cells were aggressive, I was legit terrified even though I was told that my chances of survival were high. It was difficult for both my husband and I to process everything especially given the uncertainty over the whole situation.
But one thing we were very certain of and that was our determination to fight against all odds. We will keep our baby no matter what and beat this cancer! So, we decided to take on the alternative treatment plan offered to me. I would first undergo four sessions of AC chemotherapy after the first trimester of my pregnancy, follow by more targeted treatment after giving birth and then surgery and finally, ending everything with a whole cycle of Herceptin treatment.
Hair started falling shortly after the first chemotherapy treatment
Shaving our heads together
Not gonna lie, it wasn’t all bright and cheery throughout. I felt especially lousy when my hair began to drop soon after my first chemo session follow by the loss in appetite due to the post-chemo nausea. The frequent visits to the hospital for treatments very much dampened my mood because it was a constant reminder that I was unwell.
My fourth chemotherapy treatment
Having to plan for my child to be born prematurely at week 32 of my pregnancy so that I can make room for more targeted chemotherapy was also a dilemma and struggle for me. I felt so guilty and upset that I had to put her through so much because of my cancer and it became more evident when I visited my daughter in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) and she had so many needles/tubes all over her tiny body. Thank God that she was fully discharged in just a month and I could restart my chemotherapy and go for my surgery in peace.
My second born in NICU
Today I am happy to share that I am now in remission and I have cleared my recent active surveillance scan as well.
There were many times I allowed my negative emotions to get the better of me and I threw myself some major pity parties but mainly only when I was by myself. I really did not want anyone to worry about me because as much as I didn’t sign myself up for this ordeal, neither did my family nor friends.
However when hope seems lost, I found solace in the word of God and in praise and worship because that was when I redirected my focus from myself to my faith. It helps make each day a little more manageable. Not only that, the unwavering Iove and support from my family especially my husband also kept me going. Many of my friends took turn to check on me and made sure I was okay too. I began to look at creating memories with my family and friends and to cherish every moment I have with them.
Creating memories
I just want to say that there is strength in every single one of us in the face of adversity. We are stronger than we think. We might not know what the future holds, but we can all afford to live one day at a time and sometimes, that is enough. We certainly do not have to always be okay and it is alright to admit that we are struggling and need help. Don’t shut yourself out and allow others to love and speak positively on your behalf even when you don’t have the courage to believe.
Post-mastectomy surgery and celebrating my 35th birthday in hospital
This year's birthday celebration
And if you are that friend to the person going through a tough time, thank you for sticking to the friendship even though some times response might be delayed. There is really no need to overcompensate and please continue to be you and that was probably what your friend going through a difficult season would appreciate.
That’s all from me and I hope my little sharing can bring some hope to anyone who are fighting your own battle. Hang in there!
]]>Mental health does not discriminate, and it affects people of all ages, genders and ethnicities. In this season, we would like to share Don’s story with you and hope that his story is able to bring light and strength as we journey through life together, and more importantly, to remind all you warriors that you’re never alone in this journey.
Here’s his story:
In 2014, it seemed like everything was falling apart. It felt like time stopped and it all happened in a blur. One minute I was in the waiting room and the next I was sitting on a recliner chair with a lot of tugging inside my chest as the surgeon tried to fix my collapsed lung. A few months later, I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder and depression.
But this was just the beginning of the journey. The rollercoaster ride had just begun.
Things got worse when I started working few years later. While I am grateful to my employers for being understanding and making accommodations whenever there are attacks, the feeling of guilt was always lingering. Subsequently, I could not even get out of my house, let alone getting to office. Everything felt disoriented and I could not connect with others anymore. Confused and uncertain, I left the company without a job. I was not even sure if it was the right decision.
The focus shifted to recovery. My psychiatrist continued to experiment with multiple medications and I tried seeing different psychologists. Things were slightly better for a moment, till the financial worries kicked in.
I thought I was better.
I joined another company and everything happened again. This time, the attacks hit twice as hard and I could not even get out of bed. The familiar feelings of guilt, anxiety, sense of worthlessness came back. I closed myself up and did not want to meet or communicate with anyone. No replies to text messages, minimising physical contact with friends and just holing myself up in my room.
Why is it that things will not get better? When will things be okay? How long more is it going to continue? What options do I have left? How do I get better? Why can’t I just be normal?
After leaving the second job, there has been so much time to think. Having plenty of time is a double-edged sword. You can choose to stay in that state and think downwards or think upwards towards positivity. The latter is definitely the tougher path and with all the support you have, you can get that push in the right direction. Slowly, I began to realise what matter most important to me - my family, loved ones and health.
Mental issues are mostly not visible. Unlike a physical injury, doctors cannot do an x-ray to check if things are getting better or not. You also may not be able to predict what is going to happen or when is the next attack. It could be in the next minute, next hour, day, week or maybe never. It is not easy to explain to others as it is a feeling/emotion/sensation that cannot be described. Don’t expect people to understand but you need to know that you are not alone in this journey.
As much as it pains you internally, it also pains your loved ones to witness you in this state. The feeling of hopelessness you have is equivalent to the feeling of helplessness they are having. But know this, the support they provide and your willpower will overcome everything.
It is very easy, even effortless, to fall into the negative spiral again every now and then but always remember to catch and pull yourself out of there. Some days are bad and some days are even worse, but hey, who wants a plain-sailing boring old life? Everyone is fighting their own battles but the ones who are willing to stick with you throughout while fighting their own are the ones you know you should keep. Life is not a sprint, it is a marathon. Enjoy the process, there is no need to rush to the end. We already know what the end is.
I cannot say that I have recovered, far from it to be honest, but I am proud to say I am taking steps to adapt and fight to regain control of that driving seat I have lost years ago.
Suddenly, as if it was to pre-empt me of the future, I got reminded of one of my favourites from Westlife that I still listen to since their debut 22 years ago.
“Try again
Never stop believing
Try again
Don't give up on your love
Stumble and fall
It's the heart of it all
When you fall down
Just try again”
Don
]]>Jacqueline Au Yong is a mother-of-two and a change-maker who strongly believes in enabling, empowering and supporting the community. She spent more than two decades in the social service sector, with vast experience in research, policy, education and fundraising. She currently sits on the board of a children charity, Every Child Matters.
Here’s what she shared with us:
How did you start your journey in this social service space?
I knew I wanted to be in this social space 22 years ago when I interned at Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF). A client of mine (I was on the ground, helping vulnerable individuals and families obtain government’s financial assistance), came to me - face half-caked in blood, calling for help as his co-tenant had violently bashed him up because he did not have the financial ability to pay for his rental.
That was a scene I will never forget and started me off in a journey of uplifting and empowering others. Since then, I have spent more than two decades in the social service sector. My passion in empowering the vulnerable in the community led me to various professional portfolios such as volunteer management, fundraising, research and direct services.
Through your experience and journey in life, what does happiness mean to you?
I think meaning and happiness is not found in a life where all or most of your desires are fulfilled, but found in a life where you are the enabler in someone’s life.
If there is one thing that you would like to share, what would that be?
Don't just take, give.
Don't just change, transform.
Don't just dream, do.
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Fly Activewear is proud to be an official ad sponsor for Jacqueline and her journey as a Mrs Singapore 2022.
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